Don’t talk to your dog

Mrok doesn’t understand human language and never will. Just like we, humans, will never speak fluently in the language of dogs — a language made not only of sounds, but of posture, movement, facial expression, eye contact and… shared scents. Dogs blend these elements into flowing combinations, creating something we can only guess at.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to communicate. The question is: when does a dog truly understand us — and when is it just our imagination?

Talking with little Mrok’s mom.

Before little Mrok moved in with us, we read and watched everything we could find about building a good relationship with a dog. Films, articles, advice from all those “renowned” trainers online. It didn’t take long to realise that theory and reality rarely meet.

A focused mental message is far clearer to a dog than even the most precise human words.

When we started working with Kuba — Mrok’s trainer and behaviourist — we heard three simple rules:

1. Don’t keep talking to your dog.

2. Don’t have conversations with your dog.

3. Speak rarely and precisely.

At first it sounded simple, but in practice it wasn’t. We didn’t understand right away what those rules really meant.

With time, another element of communication appeared — something I call the “triple signal”. More on that in a moment.

Many of us believe that a dog understands what we say better than a human does.

1. Don’t keep talking to your dog

How come — don’t talk? Such a tiny, fluffy creature surely needs our words, our comfort, our soft tone... “Oh you little one,” “what a good boy,” “look how nicely you eat” — and so on, always with the name at the end.

The puppy hears hundreds of words, and one of them keeps repeating. He doesn’t know it’s his name yet. He only learns that it’s an important sound — one that soon drowns in a flood of sentences he cannot decode.

Little Mrok is discovering the world — he doesn’t need our commentary for that.

After almost two years with Mrok, we know one thing: we pick a few simple words and use them consistently. Nothing more. Silence works wonders.

Mrok reacts faster, focuses better, watches more carefully. A three-hour walk in almost complete silence turns out to be the best lesson. Kuba keeps saying from the start:“Don’t talk to him. Why so many words? Silence.” Now we understand what he meant.

Human, just show me what you want — you don’t need words, I’ll understand you!

2. Don’t have conversations with your dog

That one is harder. Many people believe their dog “understands them” — because he tilts his head, listens carefully, looks with those eyes... Mrok does that too. But he doesn’t understand any of our stories about the world. He only hears our “rustle” — Polish, to canine ears, is just a sequence of meaningless sounds.

Over time I notice that calm appears only when I start treating Mrok as someone who doesn’t speak. And that’s when I begin to see how much he says to us — with his body, his eyes, his gestures.

The conclusion: we don’t talk to Mrok. We listen to him.

Speech by Mrok :)

3. Precision

Before you read further, think about how you react in similar situations. Do you stop your dog with words, or do you show him what to do? Here are two ways to handle the same moment — see which one feels closer to you.

On the opposite side of the street, a small terrier is walking toward us. Beside the road, a wide strip of cut grass.

A. I block the leash and stop Mrok, who has spotted the barking terrier. I say:“Why are you pulling towards that little dog? He’s not interested in your company, and you’re being pushy. Stop it, you’re just annoying me!”

B. I see the terrier. I move between the dogs and slightly change our direction, giving both space to choose their way. I think: let’s go left and skip that meeting. I step calmly to the left and say simply:“leave it.”

Mrok almost instantly does what I have in mind. It’s most visible during our trips and river kayaking. Reducing words works from day one.

So, shall we? No time for talking — let’s go!

The triple signal

Kuba teaches us awareness and calm when working with a dog. From those lessons came what I call the triple signal — a simple yet effective way to communicate. It’s made of three parts that must stay connected:

1. Thought – a clear idea of what I want my dog to do. It’s the first signal; everything starts there.

2. Movement / gesture – a natural consequence of that thought. My body shows the direction and confirms my intention.

3. Word – calm, single, reinforcing what the dog already feels and sees.

   
   

Sometimes talking gets in the way more than it helps.

I used to say: “Mrok! No! We’re going the other way!” Now I simply think left, move left, and say one word: “left.”

It works. Mrok doesn’t understand Polish — or Australian-English, though that’s where he comes from. He feels what I want. He reads it in my posture, hears it in my tone. And he answers.

Don’t talk to your dog. Just be glad he’s next to you. Look calmly into his eyes, relax your body, breathe slowly. Tell him you love him — without saying a word. And then feel how he answers. (WAF)

We probably speak similar languages… just like neighbours do — close enough to sound familiar, yet hard to truly understand.

You might not agree with us — and that’s fine. Everyone has their own way of communicating with their dog. We’re still learning — thanks to Kuba, who guides us with patience, and thanks to Mrok, who reminds us every day that silence is also a form of conversation.

Shaping — a perfect way to speak less to your dog — it starts and stays in silence.

P.S. Have you noticed how often people overuse their dog’s name? A thirty-minute walk, and the dog hears:“Buddy, don’t do that. Buddy! Buddy, no! Buddy, wait! You’re doing it again! Buddy…”

Do you think Buddy makes sense of any of it? We sometimes wonder why our dogs don’t respond to their names the way we’d like them to. But they’re simply consistent — they know that “Buddy” must appear in every sentence, every few seconds. No need to react. But sometimes Buddy means food… so it’s still worth glancing at the human.

I’ll walk with you as long as my strength lasts — no need to ask, I’ll always be by your side.